Why I am like this?

Hi Everyone,

Good Afternoon, Daily, I spend approximately 1 hour on shopping sites like Myntra, Amazon or Nykaa, etc. In 2021-2022 I spent 56 thousand on the Clovia app, 78 thousand on Myntra, and a whopping amount of 1.57 Lakhs on Amazon. It is all because of a disease. It is not bragging but crying for help.

I recently got to know I am suffering from Compulsive Buying Disorder (CBD) or also known as “Oniomania”. As per Wikipedia, it is “characterized by an obsession with shopping and buying behavior that causes adverse consequences.”

I am mentally sick, I believe the main reason behind this is Depression which is the result of loneliness. I am connected to so many people but I am still not connected to anyone. I am sad but always smiling. I want people around me but when they are very close I get irritated. I want to have a family but I can’t sleep with even my daughter on the same bed. Due to all this confusion, I am not only spending my income on shopping but on different subscriptions. It does not matter if I use these products or subscriptions, but they should be purchased. Sometimes I buy them because someone else has them and I think they are happy because of this. This led me to buy even more products of luxury.

Now, I am feeling guilty without savings. I know in a few months I will face financial problems too. So, now on the brink of poverty, I decided to seek help. I checked online, did my research. Now I know that I have to work on my intentions (Willpower), take help from my friends. Now I am going to try that and Let’s See if it works.